« My dog matches with every dogs »
« My dog can get along with every dogs »
« My dog can handle every dogs »
My dogness ! If you answered « myth » to the question : Bravo !
Anecdote
Lately, while I was walking one of my K9 students, an off-leashed dog walked across the street to greet him. A car avoided him and another checked the brake to let him cross. His owner stayed on his own side of the street without catching up, walking relaxed.
The dog I was walking with a long line is seven years old. He loves dogs, but was attacked, so is likely to mistrust. If he whines, he is relaxed and feels like meeting the other dog ; if he barks, he is stressed and would rather have the other stay away ; if he says nothing, he observes, remains vigilant, and wait and see what the other communicates.
The environment we were in : streets, cars, bikes, pedestrians, narrow sidewalks.
The courtesy
When we meet a dog, some rules of courtesy are recommended :
watch the context : large space or narrow sidewalks, on- or off-leashed dogs, traffic, other beings
keep your dog close to you
ask the other owner if the dog may greet one another
if s/he says no, accept and keep going ; s/he does not have to give explanations. If s/he says yes, observe your own dog and the other one so that the meeting happens to the best.
If you say « no », or feels like saying « no » but hesitate out of fear for social judgement, actually, you have to : neither justify yourself, nor accept against your own free will, nor to give in at the expense of your dog. No matter what motivates you, just as the other person does not have to justify her/himself as to why s/he wants to get her/his dog meet yours, you have the right to turn it down. Unless you feel like entering a conversation at that very moment, like starting a discussion, you only owe your energy to yourself and your dog.
The other human being
When I told the owner of the other dog that it would have been more correct that he keeps his dog by his side or acts another way, he answered, while walking leisurely on his sidewalk, that I should not worry, that his dog is a « mediation dog ».
The mediation is a specific job a dog carries out by intervening in a situation. Here, it was nothing but a one-on-one encounter, which went on well luckily.
Apart from his irritable condescension, and his carefree certitude that bears no discussion (inasmuch as he kept going on his way without stopping), he was able to unveil his ignorance as for the k9 relationships.
In the real life
Some of my clients live with sensitive dogs, either out of pain, or out of negative experiences, or out of lack of suited familiarization. Those dogs are likely to try to feel or scare the other dog away. Their humans make incredible efforts to handle them at best, to deal with the others’ remarks, to swallow the social pressure, to fit the ones and the others. They have the right to turn an encounter down just because they are having a calm moment with their dog they want to enjoy ; just because they are tired and do not want to monopolize their energy to satisfy other people who are vaguely around in their life.
In the real life, you can say « No, thanks » (without it being for ever) and some humans will smile and go their way.
In the real life, you can say « hold your dog, keep him near you » and some humans will look you down, will tell you you are over-reacting, leading you to doubt about your skills, to belittle yourself the efforts and those of your dog. The strength in their conviction they are in the right marks a hazardous path for the human who turns the encounter down. The one who says « no » is wrong according to those individuals. The one who is upset for having to deal with a stressing situation for him/her and his/her dog is wrong according to those individuals.
In the real life, it is not possible to avoid every canine encounters, nor every encounters of individuals who make us question all the precepts of kindness we can have, who may rise frustration and powerlessness.
In the real life, it is essential you remember who matters in your eyes.
Can match with all dogs ?
I sometimes « borrow » the dogs of clients to helps some other dogs in their progress. I never use the same dog. I always adapt to the context, to environment, the profile of both dogs, the training I want to implement, the considered objectives.
I refuse to make the dog assisting me struggle to make the one in session progress, just as much as I refuse to make the dog in session struggle only to reproduce « the real life » while he would not be ready.
So that a dog can match with all the dogs, he needs a large number of skills :
to adapt to each possible environment (except if he only works in one and thus the « helped » dog may be hesitant to generalize),
observe, analyze, understand the elements around in the environment
adjust to each interaction, to each emitted exchange
tolerate each temperament of each dog, without considering his past, his emotional state.
Furthermore, when does matching mean that he will attack a excited puppy so that he calms down ? That he will issue the other’s energy by showing a behavior of indifference ? That he will play as intensely ? That he will let himself be attacked if the other charges at him ? What impact that kind of situation can have on the « matching-every-dogs » dog ?
« Mediating », « regulating » are quite big words to label dogs who have actually often learn to go to other dogs a certain way. They may have good abilities to communicate ; but not all dogs are receptive.
Just as human beings are not able to get along with every of their fellows intellectually and emotionally, to fit with all without striving and restraining themselves at times, dogs have limits.
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